older than I look
you don’t think I know beauty?
you don’t even know

how many hours
spent alone contemplating
dead flowers I kept

I watch the sun sleep
and the clouds bleed dull colors
before I lay down

you say you have one
but the young girls you see now
were always mothers

they don’t need children
or irresponsible pasts
to smile to your face

I touched a white rose
walking home today, covered
in rain from the clouds

water was falling
from my bitten fingernails
and fell to concrete

sometimes it hurts to
show you how happy I am
honestly, don’t look

eyes are receding
and faster than you can see
deep into my skull

I pretend that the
light storm blowing me away
isn’t a window

that the saliva
are waves crashing over the
cove and onto sheets

I almost feel bad
for what I’m about to do
and stepping on you

But me and her know
that we light the fuse here, soon
and unexpected

To celebrate she
will take off her clothes and close
her eyes to white fur

To watch you all wash
away like sand on shorelines
farewell, fair weathered