when i think about you
i think about being so close
that our heartbeats are touching

i think about laying in your
dark blue bed sheets
cologned in your honey breath
wanting you to rip me open
and fall in love with my organs

i remember all i want for christmas
is for you to let me be
in the same room as you
and how when you cracked your neck
it sounded like a question

i think of how you left before your
scent could soak into my pillowcases
and i think about hating you for that

then i think about you, starved skinny
and her fishnets getting caught on
everything and you loving it

and i think of the violin in the next room
that sounded like "**** me **** me **** me"
and telling you that being held
does not make you a prisoner

and i think about the ambien hearted girl
and you shaking her to wake her up
while i'm jealous of the dying/dead

still am