to err is human, but it feels divine.*

i am human
so human that i can taste it
feel the bitter jealousy in my throat
taste the deliciously toe-curling want that seeps from my pores.
i make mistakes, they fall from my lips and my eyes and my heart like the jarring notes of an untuned guitar
etching themselves permanently upon the eardrums and minds of errant souls.

it does not feel divine.
it burns, shrivelling up my insides bit by bit, step by step.
my soul smoulders like a cigarette, scattering ash on my mind.

mistakes.
we all make them
some are worse than others, some eventually turn out to be for the best.
some people are smart, they learn from their mistakes
then there are people like me, whose mistakes define their very lives.

you are my personal mistake.
the reason my lungs have shrivelled into smoke
the idea behind the erratic thumping of my graceless heart
the reason jealousy burns like bile in my throat when I see you look at someone else.
you're the punk in my rock
the salt in my tears
the tar in my lungs.

mistakes.
sometimes they just happen, and you have to get up and go
scattering ashes in your wake
leaving your tears to flow like a river in your memories.

go.
grow.
you are strong.
you are beautiful.
you are not a mistake
and never will be again.

i will not let you define me.