There’s a bus station inside of me
My emotions are always on time
But my actions are arriving later than ever
I’m the punk kid in the corner of the 23
Trying to escape home
When really,
I’m the elderly lady, nervously riding the 26
Trying to find her way back home.
Home.
We wander aimlessly around university boulevard
Pretending like we are college students
Knees shaking like my 3rd grade hands when
Dad taught me how to play poker
Growing up is a gamble
Except you have nothing to bet,
But everything to lose
College is a card game,
but missing some of the 52’s
And the 21’s,
barely 18’s
The first time I got blindingly drunk
We were all just 18, just graduated
and we were drinking like it was
going to be our last drinks
We said “I love you”
Like we were about to be sent to war
Society, war field
Knowledge, machine guns
We said “I love you”
Like we were ghost
We never were so able
to see right through each other like we did that night
We grew up hearing the scary stories
Of our battered haunted houses
"Love."
It wasn’t the tequila talking
But courage we found in fear
Fear that our mother’s would
Kill us if she knew what we were doing
*
growing up*
We stay up late in the dorms
spewing our dreams out of reality
I learned at a lecture once
That when galaxies form,
Masses spew out of control
Smashing into each other
until millions years later,
They find their orbit
We’re becoming ourselves in the most
violent of ways
Smashing into things until
we get it right
One time, I saw a toddler on the bus
Peeling off his own scab
In all his gore and glory
He held it up in pride,
"Look ma!"
its amazing, that any age
We find new ways to make ourselves bleed
Just to make sure we’re still human