I don’t know where I’m going
but I’m not sure if that’s my problem
or if I’m unhappy
because I expect myself to.
I’m asleep, truly,
for I can feel the seawater dripping from under my eyelids,
seeping down down down through my pillow
and rotting my floors with dreamy mold
all throughout our living space.
No wonder we cough,
no wonder we choke,
no wonder none of us are able to have real relationships
we’re being poisoned by our dreams until nothing is left
but the choking exhaustion
of a day spent laying on our backs
and thinking that tomorrow is the day we’ll fall in love
or next week I’ll finally jump on that train
and away from all of them who do me harm.
I’m trapped in my own personal heaven that’s
halting me from bouncing into reality.