waking up is hard.
a coffee mug filled with *** can make it a little easier
yet if you're sad enough, it doesn't **** the pain.
it fogs your vision but it can't end the desolation
school in a drunken haze
tripping down stairways, colliding with passerbys
but somehow with or without medication, school remains painful
all the people you love and have loved. all the people you hate. all the people you care not to know.
all gathered in one place.
so many faces bring back memories and regrets.
they are impossible to avoid.
some hurt.
many do.
and when you see him, from the corner of your eye and he grabs her waist and pulls her in
you can actually feel everything inside of you drop.
you pull out another cigarette. maybe two more, maybe three, because there is no way you can make it through another moment without them.
you push the tears back into your eyes, put a smile on your face, and even when a tear happens to leak, you tell people you had only just yawned.
And you carry on, another empty day.