Life has been quite kind to the chaos in my veins.
After all the attempts to fill my lungs with tar and dirt,
I am still in between the water and air, singing with fiery wonder.
So, with humiliation and perspective in my learning eyes,
I try to reach back and grasp truthful moments.

I have lied to myself many times,
It becomes difficult to separate the insecure story from my history.
I am left with the light of the moon singing upon different lands of water.
A collection of moments in which I can be alone with someone else,
Watching the moon paint pools of clouds or dissipate over an abyss.
These small monads of time contain infinite refractions of silver justice.

Take a breath.
I know the pain of realization is overwhelming.
But learn to speak through the high tides of your own ocean.

Yes, you have been hurt.
Your throat is sore with those worn words.
Yes, you have truly hurt others with this same pain.
Your tired hands shake with ****** fists.

Yes, you have laughed in the face of love
and dared to sneer at those with open hearts,
those who saw the sweet monster howling in your soul
and wanted to hold you softly.

Yes, instead of releasing the heavy burden of pride
And thanking the courageous explorer,
You have always swung around and released the caged wolf in your ribs,
letting her shred any hope near your heart.

I know all these realizations are much too late,
and I am a fool for believing I’ve experienced any retribution.

This is only a clumsy attempt to let you know,
Im trying.