i don't know how
one million things get
broken all at once and i don't know how to fix
them either so please don't ask me
why i hate the sound of knuckles cracking
or why i can't sit still.

i identify as the sound of eyes closing and the breathing
i heard over the phone with my ex-girlfriend when we still
admitted we loved each other.
i don't take it back but i still wish i could.
i am someone who will repeat words without a trigger warning attached to them
like **** or dumb or sorry
and i will never stop apologizing for the things i say
when i am a woman and i don't care if you see me that way.

i have to understand that i cannot be two things at once,
i am either with it or without it
and i remember how you talked to me like we were
nervous and shaking and we were, i promise.
we were probably the closest thing to the fastest movements on earth,
we were probably in space too.

i don't know what i'm talking about,
all i know is that i am getting my wisdom teeth taken out in the morning
and i will be just fine,
thank you for asking.
i know that i will hold you in the future and
that's for **** sure.