I heard you laugh over the telephone
I wasn't speaking to you
but i can tell your laugh from a mile away
it hurt me and i knew i was being childish
but i couldn't help but think
why isn't it me making you laugh

i am selfish, its true, and i know well enough
to lambast myself for it
but i cannot deal with the mystery
that there is someone out there
who you might like better

not to say that there are not better men
you can throw a stone and surely hit one
but for once, and with you
i want to be the one that someone likes best

i want to still be drunk, to be a horrible mess
to be a monster still
fighting with myself
throwing punches made of bourbon and beer
and still have you usher me in when i return
tail stuck between my legs
i want to be there
for you to pity
and to laugh at my jumbled words
but I can't
so instead i will find a way to get drunk
and let that do the talking for me