I desperately want to love you..but I'm afraid that if I get close again..you're going to hurt me. I'll just let you do it too...because I'd rather love you and be hurt by you than try to be with anyone else...but I'm not sure how strong i can be if my foundation keeps collapsing...I hardly ever tell how I feel because I can't take the chance of hurting you with my words, the thought physically makes me sick...that I could even remotely hurt you. So, when I actually do have something relevant, you'll still probably never hear it...I hate how I feel utterly helpless... I feel like I can't do anything to help you and honestly, I just feel like I'm a huge bother to you and you just keep me around because you pity me..sometimes I think you hurt me on purpose, but of course, I would never say that to you..I just couldnt..so a rant to myself on this is as good as it's going to get..just remember, I still love you, even if I do get secretly mad sometimes...I'll love you no matter what happens..