i found the letter
it had been opened then resealed a few months back
titled; 'reasons why i love you'
a page filled with such a mellow tone of words
words that replaced your thoughts
and were then addressed to me

i unfolded the creased page,
that had been stored in my cupboard
in between a couple of books

i read each line 3 times over,
to make sure that i had tortured myself enough
with your sweet words from the past
each line had been read,
until my eyes were filled with the bitter sting of tears
until i was unable to make out the letters
you had once scribbled out
and as the drops silently fell onto the crease of the page
my heart sank and my mind began to wonder,
all i could ask myself was 'what if?'

what if i were better to you back then?
would you still be mine?

what if i were stronger and held on?
would we still be together?

what if everything you had written on this page were true?
what if you still meant it all? what if? what if?
what if maybe there's a little hope left for us.

but then, the cold hard truth of reality hit me,
there is no hope and there never will be.

*you will never love me like you used to.