****  
Don't look so surprised
**** **** ****
The words you say
A dozen times a day
Surprises you
When the fall out of my mouth
Staining my lips
Dark red

Disbelief
This isn't anything you have done
I have a dark conscience
I'm not only
Good and Kind
Loving
Gentle and sweet
Nice
Polite and confined

****
The word you barely notice
Explodes
When it comes from me
Try shove it back
Down my throat
With disappointment
Heavy
In your eyes
Did I ever
Do that to you?

Cover my eyes
Don't let me see
The things I already have
Try protect me
Save my innocence
My fragility
It's too late
I still breathe
And I will
Utter
Every word
Into the softness
Of my pillow
If I have to

You say
I'm being difficult
Was being nice
Too easy for you
What you expected
Too easy to be shattered

You thought
That only whiteness
Was me
I'm sorry
For not being sorry
Anymore