Sometimes I ignore everything going on in my life because its easier
and then when I'm alone and I try and use cigarettes and TV to distract me
It doesn't work
the world gets so small I can't breath
and I curl up and cry and cry
or sometimes I get up and pace and pace and pace
and every breath I take hurts
and the knots in my stomach and throat are killing me
I have no idea what to do
I have no one to turn to
and I realize how much I have isolated myself
I can't get off my desert island
I thought I wanted solidarity
but I really wanted was safety and security
and being alone is the opposite
it just created a fearful lonely existence