I don't feel right
And its so unexplainable.
I feel like my body is shutting down
And some nights, most nights, I wish it really would.
Some days I accept it
And just go with it
But most days I have to sit on my hands
And silence the screams
That beg to emerge with my sobs,
As I get the urge to rip my skin off
And conduct a full search to find
The source of this feeling.
Because there must be something
Hidden deep within my veins
Or floating in my blood stream,
That leaves me with this feeling of being
Too empty and too full, all at once.
I lay here in silent agony
And drown in my own salt water tears
And I fight the urge
I fight it bare ****** and *****
Because if it wins, I lose.
And I've already lost enough,
Including myself
All together.