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Mar 2014
I made a mistake, love
I imagined what might have been.

Positive: I am crying.
I am telling you I need to see you. (I am crying, again, still.)
I am in your arms; and I do not know if I will ever stop
Long enough to explain that nothing is wrong
And I am happier than I ever knew possible.
I imagine you know
When you see, finally, how I cradle my still-flat stomach
Or the test left on the bathroom counter
Because you're crying too, now.

We made a mistake, love
Because now you too have the knowledge of never-to-be.
You've seen it now, my cooing over fingers and toes in miniature
And cradling that chubby little girl to my chest.

A certain wistfulness, you called it.
And all I know now that I didn't before
Is another future that we don't have
And another future that I will grieve.
alternate title: crying about babies
Clare Talbot
Written by
Clare Talbot
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