Crown Royal made us feel like kings
Do you still swallow your courage?
Tell me a story.
Like the time when nobody was funny,
But a ******* riot, all the same.

My best friend had a daughter.
I think the mom left to be a stripper or something.
Four years changes a lot of things.
He's not my best friend now.

I'm living every day like I just got bad news.
Everyone I meet is like "What's wrong?
It used to be a novelty when you joked about suicide.
Now I don't think you should be driving a car."

Like, what did I ever do?
Hollow threats are the best I can nudge into a conversation.
Unless you know where to get help, don't ******* speak.

She doesn't answer her phone anymore.
Things got weird
After I tried to explain why
A Modest Mouse song was about me.
Crazy thing is, I don't even believe that.

Crazy thing is, I don't even believe anything.

Crown Royal makes me feel like the court jester now.