I am lost under ten feet of hurt
Thrown in the deep end, to learn how to swim
Or more likely, how to drown
With the last sigh of my tired life
Now sliding between my teeth
Those shiny molars that never did me any good
That drop of blood stuck permanently to my lower lip
Trembling
Under the weight of it's own existence
I taste the salt and it's familiar
Like sunburns and childhood
Like beach sand and mounting anxiety
All blooming now before my eyes
This skin I wear, this face I adorn
Crack at the first sign of tremors
Fault lines rip down my spine
And rubies run down my skin
What destruction has been caused, what hell has been raised
All by some omniscient force hiding just over the skyline
Blame those smiling pharmaceuticals
Who in seventeen years, did not once print a warning label, a DO NOT ENTER, a DEAD END ROAD
Who in seventeen years were happy to lend me a life jacket with one hand while tying me to an anchor with the other
But when I look down at my hands,
The evidence is evident,
The facts are gory, the proof is red:
Fingernails are stained with my own blood.