it was a damp burning day in mid june
the dusk threatening to scorch the mountains
the air so thick we might as well have drown

from the nauseating condition of the summer
we found ourselves seeking refuge,
maybe in more than one way
laying in the pews of a dusty church
the plague of memories hanging heavy in the air

you were standing in a shadow
cast by God’s gates
she was whispering your name
from inside
as you sat where she once had
i was millions of miles away
pulling on God’s arm
begging for you to stay

still we sat there
tossing words about life and death
back and forth between the two of us
as we sat in two places
both those things had so greatly touched
i felt God’s eyes resting on us
the universe so immense
so minuscule, we were

now you’re with them
and i’m too scared
to sit in the front row at church

walking into hospitals
its wrapping weights around my ankles and jumping into a pool
of all the farewells whispered to you
i hold my breath
because your name and so long
are a shot of vinegar i refuse to take

you’re still here
i saw you in a dream