I've been dead for too long
I'm supposed to feel something.
Supposed to feel something in my veins.
But never do I feel it.
They say it's a phase...
....
It's not a phase when all you want to be is dead.
When all you want to do is slice your skin open.
To let the blood ooze out of you.
To tear your skin apart.
To tear it off of your body.
To make your body black and blue.
To burn yourself alive.
...
To create my body the way I am
The way I perceive myself.
Ugly
Nasty
Gross
******
******-up
Suicidal
To­ make my body finally lay down forever.
To make my face pretty for once in my life.
To look pretty for all to see my blank stare looking back at them.
To finally be dead.

That is not a phase.  
It is not a phase when I wish to be dead even though everything around me is okay.
Not a phase when my mind and body is numb.
Not a phase when I wake up every morning realizing I'm still alive.
**IT IS NOT A PHASE..