On the door the sign it says "Open mike" come in and listen if you like

Get a drink and take a seat come listen to others things
Songs galore, old and new. If you want get up too.

But no you *** you want to heckle and berate someone, oh your special.

So special you came straight from the gym didn't shower and you stink

Your head is topped with a mersey **** oh I'm sorry its your hair

****** this and I'll do that, hot air from a skanks mouth

Well this morning I feel really good because last night I met you

My life may never be the same in fact next week I'll come again

If you open your foul scouse mouth, I'll get up and read this out!