I am afraid of being. I'm afraid to walk into a room and see people staring. When I talk, I'm afraid that I won't have control over what I'm saying. I'm afraid of being embarrassing. I'm afraid of looking at someone and I'm afraid of smiling. I'm afraid of touching, and kissing and all levels of intimacy. I'm afraid of loving and I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of pushing people away, even though there's not many anyway. I'm afraid that when I look at someone amazing I'll fall madly in love and I'm afraid of anything changing. I'm afraid that no one cares or that I care too much or not enough. I'm afraid of always being sad and I'm afraid of never knowing how good it can be. I'm afraid of going to sleep, and I'm afraid of dreaming. I'm afraid that people aren't exactly what they seem. I'm afraid of choking, or drinking entirely. I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of what makes me happy more than what makes me upset. I'm afraid of getting angry, and afraid of being lazy. I'm afraid that I'm not perfect and I'm afraid that I'm stupid. I'm afraid no one will love me, and I'm afraid of being ugly. I'm afraid of laughing. I'm afraid of living.