my social worker
when he was dying
always told me
"prepare for the worst,
if you don't want the worst"

i know she's a professional
qualified and probably underpaid
but looking back
she gave some ****** advice
because out of all the days
i've been blessed with your being
i expected to:
fall hard
love gently
cry hard
and then
hardly love

but you, babe
were quite the opposite
i fell hard
love hard
hardly cry
hardly think about
hardly loving you
simply because
it's impossible
almost as impossible
as the worst
coming out
of you