trust me
i don't want to be this way
what addict does?

flashback
ages 4 through 13
i spent at least an hour
each night
staring into the dark
wishing it were in my head

here I am now
busy
exciting life
stressful
but filled with activity
exhaustion

it's an escape from
family
friends
responsibility
where my thoughts can drift
lazily through my mind
euphoria

it's relaxation
my body still
at total peace
nothing but breathing

i'm trying to run
but at all the wrong times
and i'm not staying at the right ones

it's destroying me

i know that this all my own fault
because i'm still letting it