i think about you a lot
and what it’d be like to live with you
and be with you all the time
and actually have you here with me
and how i’d be able to come up to you at random
and kiss you on the cheek and hug you from behind
and just “love” you like love is supposed to be.
i think about how we used to be
and how all we used to do was make eachother smile
and laugh
and how happy you used to be
and how much i miss that.
i think about your smile and how great it was
to know that i was the one who made you happy.
i think about how much of a fuck up i am.
i think about how so many people love me
but for the wrong reasons
because i am never myself around anyone anymore.
i cant even begin to tell you what i would be like
if i were myself.