loving you is like a sixty degree february day.
i fall so hard, head over heels, and everything is perfect for twenty four hours,
and then the winds start up again and the temperature drops,
and loving you is a lot less happy and a lot more tear inducing.
when the icy air hits my cheeks it feels like a slap and it feels like you not loving me back.
winter in ohio goes on forever.
i just want to see the grass again and breath in air that doesn't hurt my lungs,
because it is already painful to live in this body and in this universe.
i do not need constant reminders of my existence, because i am trying so hard to forget.
when i am so cold and all i want is to have you close to me,
i do not want to remember that i cannot.
the more it snows the more sure i am that it is burying me along with the ground,
that i am stuck somewhere under the white, scrambling to get up but failing,
every time you walk away from me more flakes fall, soft powder that feels like bullets as it tears my heart into pieces and propels tears down my cheeks.
i love you like i love the sun, forever and with every particle of my being.
even if i can only get you for one day in the shortest month that feels like a lifetime,
i will take you.