i have learned the ability to numb my life to the point where days blur into each other no action standing out above the rest. the action only muffles the voiceless screams of my soul. my life is pain. my life is empty. my life feels meaningless. i bring bliss to others peoples lives why can non of them return the simple favour.

yes i pray, i read the bible and i focus on the silver cloud in the distance but lord knows the distance seems stagnant for oh so long i cant remember the last time it declined. only the illusion that it declines if i try harder.

trying harder and harder empties my soul and i have no refill available. the sky came down one day and took all my refills even the hidden ones. but i am still here half dead a quarter breathing the rest just is.