It's surprising I
am no longer surprised
   I am not shocked
I am not fazed
  I've pictured and calculated
every possibility
of every outcome
spooling through the wheel
of the dual-coded reel
  It helps me to feel
like I'm in control
like I'm protected
like I can handle being rejected
   but it's ninety percent ineffective
It's dark in here
this film is wrecked
flashing the same scene
skipping and flickering
as if not meant to resume
  ultimately never to end
I can only pretend
between what I see and what is real
is where I'm meant to be
robotically ethereal