I was still in love with you on your bad days

When you wanted to be nowhere, nothing,

When you disappeared under the covers and

I felt them shake with sobs and the first thing you said

When you felt my hand trailing up your spine

Was, “I’m sorry, love. Did I wake you up?”

Sometimes, with puffy, red eyes, you’d tell me

To leave you. You’d tell me that loving you was

A waste of my time and that I deserved more

Than you could ever be, but when you fell against

The front door, kicking and screaming at me

For giving you a reason to stay that you didn’t want,

I was there. Even when I was the only string

On your finger, the only thing keeping you from

Floating away, I loved you.

At night, when the sound of rain falling on the windowsill

Kept me awake, you’d tell me what your world was like.

Sometimes it would scare me, just like it did you,

But I told you that you could stay in mine awhile.

Sometimes you would stop talking mid-sentence

And I would ask you what was wrong.

When you said nothing at all, I knew you hadn’t

Said, “nothing at all.” I knew there was a difference.

You said you didn’t understand me, why I would

Stay with you when you were like this, and I said,

"I’m in love with you," eleven times over

Until I thought, for about an hour,

You believed me.