when a smart kid cheats
you can tell.
not because the perfect score
or the eraser marks all over the paper.
but by the look on their face
and the pain in their head
and the sweat on their palms.

it's not as easy as you'd think
to scribble down a cheat sheet
or write on your skin
or look at someone's paper.

someone's always smarter.
someone's always better.

it's not the grade that makes me do it,
i swear.
it's my rank in the class
and the letters i'm not getting from that college.

it's the counselor telling me
that i'm a bright girl
but really, i swear
i'm not.

this is not 'academic dishonesty'
this is me telling you
i cannot take the pressure

i did not earn my 4.0