I have guts- they're just defective
The graffiti in the bathroom stall makes no sense
I think I wrote it when I was drunk on ***** 2 weeks ago

I broke my favorite ring on purpose yesterday
I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've been sober for too long and now I'm paying for that

I skipped a party so I could sleep
Or talk on the phone with my boyfriend
I kissed him on Tuesday
But I'm still not sure what he looks like
can't commit his profile to memory

He seems more like a ghost than I do
Are we lovers fading from view
Is this when we start walking through walls

I ran into someone today on purpose
To make sure I didn't pass through them
To make sure I wasn't invisible

Sometimes I feel like a seagull in a parking lot

I haven't had candy for weeks
I deprive myself food so I feel like I have space to speak

My heart is a silent buzzing
Hand to chest there is no beat
Blood pressure nonexistent
Nurse tried 4 times to get a reading

Can only take blood from one arm
Veins too tangled around knotted scar tissue

Two summers ago I deflated my body like a popped beach ball
They patched the hole and filled me
I have yet to learn my lesson

When I turned 13 I convinced myself I hated everyone

Dogs are scared of me like a fish to a shark
Maybe they can smell cold blood pumping
Can tell there is something off about me

I have eyes like power lasers

I know why people don't talk to me
Look but don't speak
Don't touch without permission

I have ruined 37 lives like a curse

I am a contagious disease
You brought me on yourself

I feel like frostbite and sandpaper

I will not fix you
I will flay you open

I am contagious
But you already knew that

Saw it in my bones the first time you ever met me