Why do you seem so impossible to me? You are the epitome of all the things I should run from, but choose to love instead. You tell me about the magnificence that comes from your touch; tell me your hands are made of God as if I didn't already know. I look at you as all things heavenly, my lips are drenched in wine and yours are dripping with lust. You turn me in to all the things I want so desperately to become; all the things I fear of becoming. You are a mess of a human being but there are parts of me that I see in you, and you hide behind the heartless when in reality you just want someone to knock down the walls of your heart again. I do not want to waste away waiting for you; he who has been waiting for nothing in particular his entire life.

I want to know every inch of you, but even when we are centimetres apart you still appear to be so far away from me. The truth is that you just see me as some kind of divine forbidden fruit, and so you speak in tongues I don't understand and make me feel cheap and easy. It sickens me because I know you are just another to take advantage of my big heart. You want to take little pieces of me but not the whole of me.

Can't you see? I want to carve you in to my bones so I can hold you eternally, I want to inhale you like cigarette smoke and then never exhale again. You have been ******* me for days without even touching me, without even being in the same place as me. I want you and I want to love you but I refuse, I refuse, I refuse -

I will not be drowned again.

- m.k