Feb 2014
I wished I was the sheets around your ankles,
The shirt on your back,
The jeans that hugged your hips.
I wished to be your morning tea,
The steering wheel you'd hold,
The knobs of your doors you would twist.
I wanted to be with you,
To have you touch me
And hold me,
So much that I envied this
Little, trivial objects;
I just wanted your presence in any way I could have it.
I learned that those little things
Sometimes go unappreciated,
Sometimes go unnoticed and unattended to.
I stopped wishing to be
All those things
When I understood that maybe that's how you saw me.
The shirt on your back,
The jeans that hugged your hips.
I wished to be your morning tea,
The steering wheel you'd hold,
The knobs of your doors you would twist.
I wanted to be with you,
To have you touch me
And hold me,
So much that I envied this
Little, trivial objects;
I just wanted your presence in any way I could have it.
I learned that those little things
Sometimes go unappreciated,
Sometimes go unnoticed and unattended to.
I stopped wishing to be
All those things
When I understood that maybe that's how you saw me.
I'm going through a difficult break up and I realized I was too committed. I wasn't lead on or dismayed, that's just who I am. So I was over committed and he was under committed and it ended as well as it could have. I'm very sad but realizing that I expect a bit much from people was a nice wake up call. Though I do think it's who I , I think I wanted more and not only was it selfish but it was unrealistic. We struggled with our effort and though it ended, it was good. And this is the first thing I've written since that isn't absolute ****. Trying to be positive here.
