i knew it wouldn't last, that it was too good to be true.
the darkness never entirely leaves.
i had one and a half good weeks,
good weeks of me.
i haven't felt so myself in so long.
for one and a half weeks i felt whole.
i had energy and motivation,
i felt like i could lift mountains and solve the world.
i got out of bed in the morning without protest.
and then today happened,
and when my alarm went off i hit snooze.
the darkness is back, and it is swallowing me whole.
i used my time while i had it,
i laughed and i lived,
and now my time has passed and once again i am surviving.
i am struggling to make it through today.
i want more than anything to crawl into my bed,
engulfed in the warmth of my covers,
fall asleep and never wake up.
i am doing everything in my ability to finish today.
i'm scared it isn't going to be enough.
i can feel myself slipping away. i am struggling to hold on..
i knew this would return, it was a matter of time.
but it's hitting me like a truck.
i can feel every part of me deflating,
every ounce of life i had being absorbed by this evil.
your demons can only catch you if you let them.
*mine are catching up.