Why do i crave  for help but refuse to open up why do i feel like i have to be strong and never open up. I feel as if i have to take this world on all by myself. But lord you say i dnt have to so i ask that you lend me your help because i feel all alone and i cant do this myself. I feel unworthy i feel angry i feel depressed i feel so lonely even standing around people who are willing to help. break me lord god  let your presence  be felt. Because i feel like that old book collecting dust on the shelf that no one wants to read! Even with your calling o father i feel as if i will never succeed . I feel like everything is coming agaisnt me and trying to drag me down.  Why cant i scream out for help lord why cant i make a sound. What is keeping me from you lord what is holding me down. Show me the way lord god remove this grey cloud.  Blind me lord god to this world let me only look to you. You say that  you will help well im relying on you to.  You say you will change me from the inside out then why on the inside do i feel all this doubt. Why cant i express myself in the way that you would. Why does everything i say and do seem to be absolutely no good.  Lord i am trying my best but maybe thats not enough. I get over one problem and then theres another to back it up. Is my life just a struggle and im just supposed  to be tough. You say to look to you when times get rough. Well im staring you down i am yelling at you from the top of my lungs i cant do this alone lord god yes ive had enough! When will you come through and shower me with the truth. When will i walk in your will and do what you have  called me to. When will your joy in me overtake this doubt this anger and depression and shine through  me like a light at the intersection!  Lord im tired of feeling like im so unworthy and feeling rejected. You say no matter what i do to you i am always accepted. Then why won't that sink in my heart and why wont my mind accept it. Why was i born in this world and only feel neglection. I am broken lord god and i just have to accept it.  And im solely looking to you father god kuz i know that only you will fix it!