I'm not sure how to talk to him
Should I just say what's on my mind?
Or keep it hidden?
I just want to open up again
I'm so closed off now
I don't want to put myself out
I don't want to end up disappointed
I don't want it to happen again...
But I hate how I am
I see everything as potential failure
I see where it's all gone
I'm just worried that I've let it all pass me by
That I gave up when I should have fought harder
That I said no when I should have said yes...
I see him
I miss him
Or do I miss that feeling?
Those butterflies
That joy
The moments of pure happiness
I didn't think of my stress
Or complications
Or drama
I saw him as the perfect distraction from all that
He took it all away
Or did he just cover it up?
I'm still questioning it all
And yet I can't deny that I was happy
As ignorant or oblivious as it might have been,
I was happy.
I want it back... those simple things
Nothing in life comes simple?
Everything happens for a reason?
Well, what about my current emotion?
Does it serve a purpose?
Does it have a direction?
Or am I just complaining of things long gone?
Oh.. I just want to hold tight to those feelings
I was happy.
Or was I in love?