I don't think I've ever been in love
I've fallen, though.
and by fallen I mean into a dark pit of months of agony,
waiting for my phone to glow in the instant gratification of our generations definiton of "love".
i'm horrible at being patient.
like really.
really
b.a.d
I've realized that if I do what I always have done : I will always get the same outcome so something obviously has to change.
I need to relax and enjoy my crafts
and enjoy the sun
and listen to Elton John
and not base all of my happiness on a member of the opposite ***:
thinking that a kiss from them will really fix all my problems.
because will it?
will it bring my brother back home and help subdue the religion that consumed him?
no
will it help all of the seam ripped threads on my broken heart somehow mend together again?
no.

If you could selfishly change three things in your life to make it perfect, what would it be?

I've heard many answers: most of them being

"You"
"You would make my life perfect"

But two weeks later with tear streaked pillows and an absence of makeup removers I need a break.
I can make my own life perfect.


Low expectations are better days.