This is
me,
standing before the crowded room, exhausted, uncertain, offbeat
the sound of applause at my name
the face of my friend as I
step forward
look around
and begin.

This is
looking out over a group of 600 high schoolers below me
taking in a breath and feeling it liven my lungs
feeling tall and powerful and free
and home.

This is
awards ceremonies at one in the morning
standing on a stage before 600 people, stepping forward
hugging the friend who watched me read, striding up again
to take the prize for my team --
my family.

This is
realizing that some time in the last six hours I have fallen in love
with my opponent
as he steps forward to claim his prize

This is
smiling so hard my face hurts and hugging strangers and feeling okay
This is
reading poetry for a room of strangers
This is
realizing that my voice has not failed me.