late at night is when the cycle begins.

waking up for a great dream, sweating begins.
sitting up, trying to deny whats happening always leads to a short run to the toilet.
after the adrenaline, my body can no longer take it.
which leads to bending down in a rush, flinging open the toilet.

puke. flush. puke. flush
repeat.

then after the self hatred slowly crawls in, the shaking begins.
the shaking gets worse, it's all such a blur.

and once that ends, i curl back into bed.
waiting for the cycle to start again.