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Feb 2014
An old friend of mine I hadn't talked to in over two years,
Asked me today if I ever got the *** change I was talking about.
I remember two years back when I was unsure about myself...
Unsure about my sexuality or who I was born to be.
How uncomfortable I was in my own skin, how unhappy I was with my life.
It was a weird time for me, I felt alienated toward my girlfriend at that time,
I started developing crushes...on...boys, and I didn't know what was going on.
I mean, the thought of loving a guy that way was kind of freaky but,
Sometimes I said "I think I'm gay" and other times I said "There's no way"
But then I just realized- I love people for being people.
I love the people inside, with a preference for females.
And let me say, I fell in love with you.
I did a lot more than fall in love with you.
And when I said I "appreciated your anatomy" it wasn't because I wanted
...to *******.
It was because God, or nature, or whatever made you that way,
and I thought you were beautiful even when you didn't think you were.
Back on the topic of when I thought I was gay,
I just think the thought of taking **** up the *** is a bit too traumatizing.

You know, as I got to know you more, I noticed so many similarities...
You don't believe it anymore but I think we could still be true.
I know that you really, really loved me at one point, so...
Who says you can't love me again? You? Your new realizations?
You loved me once. The way you loved me, I know was not false.
I could read it in your lips, expressions, I could feel your beating heart.
The way we squirmed with hands all over in those moments alone.

P.S. I had a ***** then, too.
Sam Conrad
Written by
Sam Conrad
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