18-
That was me.
I'd never heard of scrutiny,
but was sure that I knew everything.
I was the best I'd ever seen.

Then I turned 19,
I did my best to be unclean-
to make an end to all my means
by exploring everything obscene.
I made a point to ruin things.

When I was only barely 20,
I'd thought everything was funny,
but knew I had to grow up.
I knew all was cloudy and not sunny,
I was destined to **** up.

When I had just turned 21,
I had made a moon out of a sun.
I had poured the marrow from a bone.
I guess I reaped what I had sewn.

When I was still green at 22,
I didn't know just what to do.
I thought I knew how to push through,
but alcohol made me a fool.

By the time I hit 23,
It made me sick to look at me.
Mirrors saw me as practically,
as my best friends would ever see.

It went so fast- I was 24,
I knew I'd **** myself for sure.
I found my self in a whole new place-
it was Hell and much, much more.

By the time that I saw 25,
I wasn't sure I was alive.
I'd lived on so I could strive,
but I could not- at least I tried.

Now, I am almost 26.
Now, I'm hardly here
and I'm hardly ****.
It is all my fault,
that I'm amiss.

Jesus Christ is just a fix.