Emotion provokes me,
Passion demotivates me,
And love desensitizes me.
But today, I let myself break down.
I let the tears break free from their restraints, and flow freely, and they ran
Down my cheeks, fast and urgent, like they desperately needed to meet my chin for the first time.
And I realize how fragile it is, how fragile I am, how sad life really is.
I feel
Real.
And this isn't something I've felt in a while.
Why is it that the thought of losing something so precious to me, makes me feel alive?
Why is it that I believe I need you, now?
The words keep running out my mouth, as I spatter these thoughts out loud, as my tears follow in unison.
Flowing,
Like energy,
Like the blood in my feeble veins,
Like the students passing through halls,
Like cars on the freeway,
Like life.
I am flowing, pushing effortlessly through some invisible current that I have been fighting against my whole life.
My tears, however, have reminded me that I am still moving.
No matter how much I have tried to halt, no matter how many times I have attempted to stop,
My tears have reminded me.
I am flowing,
I am breaking against my restraints, and meeting life face on for the first time in my life.
My anxiety has clouded me from reality for too long.
So thank you, Sadness,
If that is your name.
You saved me from going insane, tonight.