I turn the shower water on to a piping hot.
Hestitant but without backing out I enter.
I cringe a little as the droplets ambush me.

I allow the hot to hurt me.
I deserve the pain.

I sit in the middle of the tub and close my eyes.
The pit and patters of the water sooth my soul.
I close my eyes before the boiling water burns them, I can still feel it against my eyelids.
My makeup runs down and as if cued..
So do my tears.

I try to remember what it was like to feel love from another and I can't recall it.
Every time you made me smile was replaced with every time you made me angry.
Every time you called me beautiful was replaced with every time you made me feel hideous.
I silently cry to avoid anyone from listening.

Each water drop a memory of ours.
Good and bad.
All ending the same however;
down the drain.

The steam became too much to handle and I am suffocating. Unable to breathe anymore.
But the feeling is similar to how I felt with you.

The piping hot water may sting and burn and leave me sore, but it's the only thing I can feel anymore.