This message is coming to you on the  
Cee Haitch Zee. This is the
Circumstellar Habitable Zone
for those who don't know astronomy.
I'm god, see, from the other side of the sun.
Yeah. I’m the omnipotent, omniscient
and magnificent one, or, if you can look at me directly,
I'm the Dazzling One.

Now the reason for this xenology
is to tell you the secret of the suns
and to vent all that cosmic stuff,
including the terrestrial file
on life and death, the splendid and the vile,
religion, and why I **** innocent children sometimes.
There. That orta be enough for a while.

So look. I’ll keep it really simple here.
The reason for everything is,
it’s um, gosh. Well. Would you believe?
I don't have this immediately in front of me.
And anyway, it's been a very long time
since I dragged you out of slime.

Now don't go getting emotional here,
because I'll delegate this to Harahel,
he's the Angel of Knowledge, or maybe Gabriel.
Although I suppose we could leave it
till the Day of Trumpets, judgement and hell,
y'know, and go all traditional.

But I really don't mean to be threatening
at this stage,
so I'll get back to you on this one later,
and then I'll give you a shout.
Yeah. This is god calling,
over and out.

Mike T Minehan