Emily
Learning to hate means you learn to stop loving yourself.
The saltwater seems to give your thirst a clarity but what you do not see is that it will leave you in a more dehydrated state that ever 
I try to give others my poison but instead I take the dose an wait to watch them die like a fool 
And even though my journey is clear the goal seems like a last resort almost in human 
I can't imagine what love feels like and when I see what you offer me to seems like a Joke and I foolishly denied my love 
Why would you love me, do you not see the hate radiate through my bones ?
The agony and dark impurity that is my soul, the disassociation with basic emotion and the savagery and emptiness that I feel in my most intimate of times 
How can one with such passion and life force love an empty void as myself 
The desire to feel pain and see it because pain cradles me with its completely numb and tight grasp never letting go but never blinding you like love 
Until I accepted her love hate was my love 
I could gage my hate and feel it, control it 
Now that love holds me I am but a passenger in it's intense journey,
Unlike hate where u play as the captain on an never ending journey to which there is no purpose.
I am cast into a life vessel with my soulmate and I don't want land to reach us 
Thank you my love and life for saving me from myself and showing me what compassion and love is , you are my great and eternal love and I am humbled
For without you the good in me would die and I would Be without purpose only hate would drive me only empty disassociation from what is real 
Your love burns for me and I am to much of a fool to accept it, 
how can I ever give back to you what you have given me ?