Pink wild roses sit outside my door.
HAPPY B-DAY!!!! is written on the card.
Picking them up I turn and go into my apartment.
I slam the door, slide down on the inside and weep;
all good intentions, all bad ideas.
Everything is a reminder,
a reminder of our first date,
our first birthday shared together,
our last day together.
I get up and go to the bathroom.
I don’t know who those eyes belong to staring back at me.
I don’t know those lips…
all too sad to belong to me.
Pile on the make-up,
cover up the red rimmed eyes;
brighten the drawn lips.
Slip on my favourite sun dress,
his favourite sundress.
The yellow flowers pop off the fabric that floats above my knees.
My flowers.
I hug myself while closing my eyes.
There’s knocking at the door, run to answer it.
My Sunshine’s there, questioning look, searching eyes, then a bright smile.
“I love that dress…” I smile back, but inside I’m hurt.
He could never love this dress the same way He did.
No one could.
                “I love it to…” I hug him, a great big bear hug, “…Thank you.”