I guess you could call this a flashback
Maybe even a lament
Sleepless nights always drag out my inner demons in the subtle madness of complete silence
Then again my memories are always hazy until I reach that point
The point where I ripped off my angel wings and fell from cloud nine
I guess really it’s not a lament more an old broken duct tape together soul trying to teach those around him who are following a path he had drag himself out of
Their experiencing the release of powdered heave
Their loving the absolute embrace of pixie pills
Their caught in the web of grass that twists on the pearly gates
Their living what I already almost died trying
Like Icarus I flew too high and came crashing to the earth.
But at that point I was no longer living with angel wings
I was crawling around with devil feathers then
I was selling my soul to a needle filled with the most emulsifying and weight lifting crude toxin I could get a finger on
And like a weight I came crashing down one day awoken by a beggar merely happy to see me alive
I guess what I really mean to say is I’m tired of hearing that all these wonderful poisons aren’t addicting
You become like a bird hardly ever wanting to set foot on the ground
The grass in the clouds is gnarled and vindictive trapping you to it like a spider web
The angel dust like pixie dust lets you fly but confines you in thorns and splinters when you can’t
The sweet nectar of hand held doses may break your chains but only at the cost of a choke collar tied to the release itself
And when all these magic paradise inducing chemicals don’t work they turn to the most caustic vial venom the world can find
An injectable heaven that leaves them a dying husk of who they were.
So I was wrong it is a lament but at the same time its me trying to preach
I know I’m the ***** sweating in church
I know I’m the recovered addicted who never asked for help
I know I’m the happy supportive psychopath
Trust me when I say I know I’m weird one of a kind human being
So I beg of you to listen to my learned wisdom from playing on cloud nine
But you don’t
You won’t listen you think you know it all
But
You haven’t walked down the rabbit hole as far as I have
You haven’t played chess with the devil for the next flight to cloud nine
I know I seem like one big conundrum of hypocrisy
Preaching what I already did
But the reason I seem like that to some of you is simple
It’s because I’m preaching what you don’t want to hear
Now im not going to make you listen
Though you should
On those long sleepless nights when the sweet velvet like call of angel wings whisper to you please ignore them
I know it’s a brutal thing to deny what’s like heaven itself but please I beg you not to follow the mistakes I’ve made.
Don’t resort to other reliefs like another warm body or a bottle of fire water
Just keep strong
I have seen the pits of addiction
I’ve done many a things I will never forgive myself for
So from a ruined tattered soul like myself please heed my warning
The leaves of the tree of life only go so far
The dust of enlightenment is not permanent
And the magic pills won’t send you up the bean stock forever
Stop pretending to fly above the world and instead embrace those around you
Before you wind up like me scrambling to save a dying *****
While fighting to find your family and friends again
Leave the toxins, chemicals, and venom behind they only leave you to rot inside the shell you once called your mind.