I contemplated driving to your house and crashing through the window on your front lawn, the one that we gazed through while we were tangled up in your sheets and thinking about how insignificant we were in such a complex world

I dialed your number and deleted the digits over and over and over again when all I wanted was to gently press call and scream profanities at you at the top of my lungs despite the fact I knew you wouldn't have picked up your end of the line
I should’ve just left a voice mail

I wanted to claw through your skin and break your bones and tear your heart out of your rib cage so you would have just a minuscule understanding of how it feels to be without you
I can’t let go, I hate you, I love you, please call me, lets never speak again


It was never my choice to love you