sick to the bone
i was tired of words i could not swallow
"i've been starving myself"
of food of hope of love of lust
i was tired of diving into toilet bowls
"i do not like to throw up"
i insisted this but my fingers did not listen
life lesson or self pity?

ingesting smoke
i was afraid this was all i could eat today
the fridge had told me different
and the cabinets too
i am tired of teary eyed binging
"i have to leave you alone"
i reiterated but i could never have enough
selfish promise or short term goal?

dizzy accusations
this was all my fault
i swallowed my words whole
and could never spit them out
it's starvation eating me up
i am tired of leaving tables early
"i could have stopped myself"
but my legs have proven otherwise
routine or bad habit?