the field lies aplenty
through my fingers
crossing gingerly
luscious, bluffing, green
not afraid
and non forgiving

how I wish I was a field
how I wish I didn't envy
all the plants and trees and grasses
laying silent in the country

I don't think you understand
I don't think you understand
I'm so close to breaking hands
of the ones who held me back

I don't think you understand
I don't think you understand
I'm one step from breaking hands
of the ones who held me back

I don't lash out
I don't anger
very easily like most
but this pent up
rough aggression
keeps me banging on the post

of life, of love, of happy
never knew any of those
so I'm constantly, fevently
knocking
feeling shut but full of prose

I don't think you understand
I don't think you understand
I'm so close to breaking hands
of the ones who held me back

I don't think you understand
I don't think you understand
I'm one step from breaking hands
of the ones who held me back

he smelt of smoke
so that smelt like home
guitar strings and acrylic paint
always sleeping, bored, and lounging
anything could really wait

now I'm older
but no different
and still haunted by the past
of the time taken from me
of the things that never last

I don't think you understand
I don't think you understand
I'm one step from breaking hands
of the ones who held me back

I don't want you to understand
But I'll stand on this land
never sacrificing self
never sacrificing hands
the hands of him
the hands of him
the hands that tried to hold me back
can be broken with me leaving
they will never touch this skin
again