I hate myself.
This isn't a question of 'I like this
'I dislike this
'I wish I was more--'
I hate myself, simply.
My parents love me more each day.
My siblings would die for me.
My friends are beautiful people.
I don't want pity, religion or attention.
I don't.
I just hate myself, it doesn't really matter.
I'm not thinking that my me right now
Is worse than the me I'll be later.
My feelings are a constant ebb and flow.
Some days I only hate myself
The same way someone can hate a show.
It's a background thing, nothing that needs to be dealt with.
Some days, I hate myself so completely that I can't even move.
And I won't say it's okay, even though it is.
I've been taught that it's not okay to say it.
Recovery is a process, they say.
And the first step is to ignore your feelings so your parents and therapists can think they did it right.